Randi vs. Randi: A Love Story

I have done my fair share of screwing up in the last few years.

There were some epic battles:

Me vs. Myself

Me vs. Self-sabotage

Me vs. The Girl who couldn’t be alone for five minutes

Me vs. Grad School

Me vs. Braces

Me vs. Student Loans

Me vs. Money

Me vs. The Girl who ate too much

Me vs. The Girl who forgot to eat sometimes

Me vs. What people think of me

Me vs. What I think people think of me

Me vs. Self-Image

Me vs. Self-acceptance

Me vs. My history

I definitely did not win all of the battles, but I do feel that I have won the war.

Today has been a “Keep calm, and carry on” type of day. I woke up really stressed about money, or lack thereof, I should say. I talked to a couple of friends about what I should do, and then I decided to call on my friend Jacqui.

Here’s a little background on Jacqui. Jacqui was my boss at White Dog Hill for over four years. She’s British. She moved to the US about 12 years ago. She’s hilarious. She has bought me 486 handbags. She has held my hand and been there for me every single time I “quit” White Dog.  She has been there for me through many of the above-mentioned epic battles. She has nurtured me, and helped me grow up. She is like a mother to me.

I can’t begin to tell you how much Jacqui has influenced my life in the last four years. I have become an entirely new, healthier, calmer, more ambitious version of myself because of her. I love her so much. I have her to thank for so many things.

One of the most recent, and very important things that Jacqui has taught me is that freaking out and stressing will get me no where. If I “keep calm, and carry on,” as she says, then I will be much more likely to solve a problem.

This may seem like nothing to some of you. You may even be thinking, “uh duh, Randi, everyone knows that.”

But I didn’t know that, and my stress has been a huge problem for me in the past. It has also had a huge effect on all of my relationships, romantic and platonic.

I'm at a point in my life where I actually love myself. I love myself more than I ever have before. And I listen to myself. It is amazing. 

So today, I won’t stress. I’ll enjoy my life and tip my hat to the woman I have become. I will smile, and solve problems, and be happy. The healthier, smarter, more confident version of myself thanks all those people who helped me be the person that I am.

And especially Jacqui, for reminding me that life is precious, we should always care about other people, love and acceptance are virtues, bad things do happen sometimes, and that we should always follow our dreams if we can.